if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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