did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
