I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
