You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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