you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
