I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
