Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize