The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
