And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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