i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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