You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize