My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This is my gift to your gina
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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