glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
