So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
