oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
