I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
