Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
