maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
