I am puke
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
