blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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