Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
