if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
