Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
