If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
