you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
