I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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