his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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