Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
