I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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