OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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