I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
