so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
