Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
