First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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