If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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