They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
