I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize