So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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