I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I looked at my own cervix.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
