I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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