so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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