I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
