Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
