I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
