He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You smell like stripper and shame
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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