Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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