mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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