will power is for people who don't want to get laid
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
