Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
