We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
