Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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