hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
