So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
