We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
