Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
