ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
