Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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