i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
