ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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