i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize