I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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