is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
