watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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