he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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