you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
