butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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