did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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