The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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