And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
