Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize