I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
