I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
