Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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